Pinch Me, I'm Dreaming
by Klei
Summary: In which Sasuke wakes up in the bed of a blonde dobe who will stop at nothing to have said Uchiha pounding inside of him. SasuNaru lemon, yaoi, MPreg. Don’t like, don’t read.
1. A Blissful Morning

**Pinch Me, I'm Dreaming**

_In which Sasuke wakes up in the bed of a blonde dobe who will stop at nothing to have said Uchiha pounding inside of him. SasuNaru lemon, yaoi. Don't like, don't read._

**A/N**

**Naruto: Oh, COME ON! I only got to be seme once in your stories! ONCE! And now here I am, super-OOC-submissive-person-chan!**

**Heheh, I know!**

**Sasuke: Because he was seme, I must mark him as my own again, letting the public know that HE is MINE, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND!**

**Okaaaaaaaay… How do you plan on doing that?**

**Sasuke: Doing him, filming it, and giving out the tapes for free.**

**Suh-WEET!**

**Naruto: -.-' I'd really like to know how many times I can possibly lose my virginity… I mean, look at all those thousands of fanfics, each with a different version of me getting screwed for the first time. How can they all be my first time?**

**The power of yaoi fandom. :P**

Upon waking up, Sasuke immediately realized that he was NOT in his own bed, sighing as he tugged at the handcuffs. What MORON had thought for even a second that they could rape the mighty Uchiha Sasuke? Well, he'd kick their ass and report them to Tsunade later. _What if it's a girl? Nah, I'll still kick their ass… No perverted thoughts intended, of course. It makes me debate on whether or not to let people know I'm gay… That way girls would stop bothering me. But then, I'd have to deal with guys, who almost always try to be seme… And there's no way I'm going to let someone even THINK about being MY seme. No, I shall be seme, and seme alone! Especially to that perfect little blonde… It's too bad Naruto likes Sakura, though. He'd make the perfect uke… What is it that makes me find him cute? His hair is all spiky, like some wannabe-punk… Then again, my hair is spiked in the back… But I actually manage to fulfill the title of punk, while he's just too short and adorable… Speaking of hair, I wonder if he's naturally blonde? Is he part American? I doubt he'd spend money of hair-dye when it makes him look less threatening… And it'd take away from the money he needs to buy ramen…_

Ah, yes. Uchiha Sasuke was silent and deadly because his thoughts tended to get the best of him… Who wouldn't fantasize of being surrounded by hundreds of Narutos? No, not just hundreds of Narutos. Hundreds of Narutos that were soaked with rainwater! And wearing white! No, even better… Hundreds of commando Narutos with white silk shorts, soaked with rainwater. Yes, THAT was perfect. Or maybe Naruto screaming underneath him as he pounded- _Oh, crap, the door's opening! Ah, well. Hey, wait… Why is…_

In walked Naruto, with a pink but calm face that read, "I'm horny and I'm not afraid to admit it."

"Sas…u…ke…" Naruto droned, walking over. _Holy crap… He's in white boxers! I'm dreaming, dreaming, dreaming… Oh, come on, if it's a dream why can't it start raining? Rain, rain, rain!_

"Sasuke…" Naruto repeated, eyes half lidded, face bright red like he was drunk. "Does Sasuke-sama wanna play with Naru-chan?"

_HELL YES! Damn, he's cute when he's like this… I wonder what put him in this state? _Nonetheless, the Uchiha managed to keep a straight face, as usual, not responding to Naruto's words. The blonde crawled onto the bed-made for one-and straddled him.

"What are you doing, dobe?" Sasuke asked, cold, despite how much he just wanted to let loose a mega-nosebleed. _This is a shame. He seems to want to be seme, considering I'm handcuffed. I'll have to teach him his rightful place, then… Hey, what's that pink wire-like thing coming out of the top of his boxers?_

Noticing that Sasuke was looking past him and at the wire, Naruto smiled slightly and asked, "Does Sasuke-sama wanna see?" Without waiting for Sasuke's response (which would have been yes, of course) he started to pull his boxers down, slowly and seductively. _Screw the wire, _the Uchiha thought, unable to tear his eyes of Naruto himself. _I'm about to see the best part!_

Easing both his legs out of the clothing he was wearing, Naruto finally dropped them to the floor and sat down on Sasuke's clothed groin, smirking as he felt how hard the Uchiha was.

_Naruto is sitting on top of me, naked, with his hands behind his back so I get this great view… Must… Resist… Nosebleed… Oh, wait, the wire; what was it leading to? _

As if hearing Sasuke's thoughts, the Jinchuuriki got up slightly, and turned around, hands and knees on either side of the raven-haired shinobi and giving him a perfect view of his ass, which bore a vibrator in its tight grip. The vibrator had a pink color too it, and wasn't too thick; only about the size of someone's finger, though it was most certainly longer. As Naruto picked up the remote at the other end of the wire, Sasuke saw that the words, "Vibrator for Virgins," written in black.

"It isn't big, but it still hurt," Naruto purred. "I put it in just for you. I haven't turned it on yet, though… Do you wanna watch me play with my new toy?"

With wide eyes, Sasuke slowly nodded.

At that, the Jinchuuriki took the remote and turned the dial up to '1.' Sasuke could see it vibrate slightly, for Naruto was still in the same position. The blonde carefully turned the dial up to '5,' and his face became redder than it was in the first place. By now the Uchiha could hear the device give a low humming sound.

"Ah… Ah… HyaAH!" Naruto moaned, turning his head around to see that Sasuke was watching intently. "Mmm… Do you wanna be inside me, Sasuke-sama?" he asked. "Do you wanna fuck my virgin ass? I promise I'll be nice and tight for your big, hard dick as you slam my prostate and release all that warm cum into me…"

"Hai…" Sasuke said in practically a whisper, awe-struck by the sight of the whole thing. Even if he had to break out of those handcuffs, he was going to have his way.

Naruto turned the dial up to 15, the maximum setting, and began panting heavily, before finally turning around to face the Uchiha, without turning the device off. "Just think of me as nothing more than your sex slave…" he drawled. "You're my master and I'm your lowly bitch." With that, he leaned in for a kiss.

As soon as Naruto pulled away, he turned the vibrator off and slowly pulled it out. After laying it down on the floor, he moved down Sasuke's body to face the zipper of his pants. Without a word, he unzipped them and pulled them down, along with the seme's boxers. As soon as the Uchiha's erection came into view, he started to suck it.

First, he lapped at the tip, eventually moving his head up and down. Sasuke seemed to get bored with this very quickly, as he began thrusting. Wanting to please his seme, Naruto began deep-throating the Uchiha, occasionally swallowing the mixture of precum and saliva. Taking the rod out of his mouth for a moment, the blonde sucked his sack, panting heavily as he did so. "You taste really, really good," he moaned, going back to the tip. "Mmm…"

Sasuke groaned, thrusting upwards into Naruto's mouth again. _This is so much better than being alone in the middle of the night!_ "Baka… Put it in your ass already!" _Can't you see how much I want to fuck that tight little hole?_

With a slight laugh, the blonde pulled his head away and moved forward so he was above Sasuke's cock. Slowly but surely, he lowered himself upon it. "Oh…" he moaned as it went in. "It hurts… But it's really, really good at the same time… Hah… You're so fucking big…" Tears trickled down the side of his face, but Naruto didn't stop. "Ah… It's almost inside…" After one long minute, the Uchiha felt himself completely inside the Kyuubi vessel.

After spending some time clenching and unclenching his muscles, he finally asked, "Does it feel good inside me, Sasuke? I'm ready to get a good fucking now… Won't that be great? Ah… I can feel you pulsing inside my ass… Should I move now?"

_After all this, it turns out he was planning on being uke all along… _"Yes, dobe."

Slowly, Naruto pulled himself up and dropped himself down, giving a high-pitched whine as his prostate was hit. After awhile, he picked up the pace. A small slapping sound could be heard every time his rear hit Sasuke's scrotum. "Ah… Am I tight enough for you? Tight enough for your big dick?"

That was it. With an annoyed grunt, Sasuke pulled his hands apart and broke the handcuffs. Within seconds, he had flipped them both over, and was holding Naruto's legs on either side of the boy's body. "This is where you belong… Underneath me," he growled, and began thrusting.

"Nyaa…" the Jinchuuriki moaned, nodding as Sasuke pounded into him. "Oh… Please… Harder… It feels so good! AH! Yes, it's good, so good! KYA!"

_Much better. _Finally, it was as it should have been in the first place; with Naruto begging desperately for more and Sasuke being the one in charge.

"Ah… Please, more!"

_Now it's my turn to use dirty talk._ "Fucking bitch."

"Nn… Sasuke… Master… Hah… I'm gonna… Oh… Fuck…"

Then, Sasuke stopped. Naruto whined as the pressure inside him wasn't released. "Oh… Please… Sasuke!"

"Not until I hear you beg."

"Uhnn… Please, please, please! I need you to fuck me… I need you to fuck me so bad!"

"Hn."

With that, the pounding continued.

"Do you like it? I bet it hurts real good, right?" Sasuke mused.

"Oh, yes! AH! Fuck me harder! I want to feel you more!"

The Uchiha leaned down and kissed Naruto, who whimpered. With a smirk, Sasuke said, "You want to feel me? Oh, you'll feel me, all right. This tight little ass of yours deserves to be all filled up, don't you think?"

"Yes, fill me up! Fill me up with cum! Please! It's so, so good, yes! Fuck!"

It was then that Naruto came, panting and tightening up around his seme. "AH! SO MUCH!" he cried as Sasuke released himself inside, before his limbs weakened and he was left panting heavily.

Five.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

"What the…" As his vision, which was blurred with tears, slowly came back to him, Naruto could do nothing but stare up at Sasuke.

_What is Sasuke doing here? Why does my butt hurt? And most importantly, WHY AM I NAKED? Hang on, there's something inside me… Whaa? _

The blonde just looked with shock as he saw Sasuke, still penetrating him. "What… What did we just… What are you doing?" he asked in a shaky voice.

Sasuke stared back, just as confused. _What's wrong?_ "What are you talking about? You handcuffed and seduced me! How can you not know?"

"I… Did what?" _Sasuke and me did the naughty-naughty? And I don't remember? Why the hell can't I remember any of this? _He turned to see the headboard, and sure enough, there were a pair of broken handcuffs. Sasuke's wrists were also reddened, proof that he had been the one to snap them off. "The last thing I remember is… I started to feel really hot yesterday night, and for some reason I felt the urge to go to your house… I can't remember anything that happened next."

"You brought me here, handcuffed me to the bed, did a bunch of kinky things to yourself with a vibrator, gave me a blowjob, and then we had sex," Sasuke said. "Don't you remember any of that?"

"No… Can you please pull out of me? It hurts like hell, and I need some time to think…" Naruto replied quietly, the things they were both saying not quite sinking in.

Sasuke complied, seeing that Naruto was in complete shock; he couldn't even scream or cry. _I would be too, in that situation._ After pulling up his pants, he asked, "Do you want me to stay, or should I leave?"

"I'd like to be left alone for awhile…" Naruto replied weakly.

"Hai…"

After he left, Naruto just stared at the wall. "Me and Sasuke… Had sex?" _I had sex. Sex. With a guy. I had sex with a guy. No, not just any guy… I had sex with Uchiha Sasuke… _Slowly, he began to process what had happened. "What the hell…" he said to himself shakily. "What the hell made me… Kami-sama, I don't even know what to think…"

* * *

"You and Naruto did WHAT?" Tsunade shrieked.

"I screwed him. Unprotected. Sorry, but he started it!"

With rage in her eyes, she growled, "Irresponsible! Just think! If he were a girl, he'd be pregnant right now! PREGNANT! I don't give a damn what you two do in your personal lives, so long as you use condoms! CONDOMS! Being attracted to men doesn't give you the right to give poor Naruto AIDS!"

"Would you listen to me for a moment?" Sasuke hissed. "That isn't the point here! I'm am-I WAS-a virgin anyway, so how could I give him any sexually transmitted diseases? The point is that after the fact, he didn't remember a thing! Right now he's at home, in shock!"

"What?" Confused, the Hokage paused. After a moment of thinking, she inquired, "What season is it?"

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?"

"It's spring, right?"

"Yes, why?"

Tsunade sighed. "Mating season."

Sasuke sweatdropped. "We aren't animals!"

"Technically we are, though you're right, humans normally don't go through any noticeable heat cycles. The point is… Well… I'm not really sure if I should tell you this, but you're going to have to find out eventually…" Tsunade sighed. "After all, you're involved in all this."

"Tell me what?"

"I will assume you know how the Yondaime died."

Sasuke nodded. "Hai. The fourth Hokage died protecting the village from the Kyuubi no yoku."

"Nobody actually told you who it was that dealt the death blow to the demon, did they?"

"Iie. I assumed the fourth Hokage did it. Why?"

"Nobody did," Tsunade replied with a sigh.

Confused, Sasuke asked, "So the fox died on its own? Or did it run away? And what does that have to do with-"

"The fourth Hokage died sealing it."

"Okay," Sasuke said, "one, why hasn't anyone been told about something, and two, what does this have to do with-"

Tsunade cut him off yet again. "Demons can't be sealed within a mere scroll. They have to be sealed inside a human container; they can be inside an inanimate object for a limited amount of time, but it would break free fairly quickly. The human containers are known as Jinchuuriki."

"And?"

"You haven't figured it out by now?" Tsunade asked impatiently. "Uzumaki Naruto is the container of the Kyuubi no yoku!"

Sasuke just stared. _Naruto?_

_"I'm gonna become Hokage, tebbeyo!" How can someone like that…_

_"I'll never give up!" …possible contain a demon inside him?_

_"You're the first one… The first one to ever pay attention to me. Thank you, Sasuke." Because of that, everyone old enough to remember must have hated him…_

_"I would trust you with my life!" And he trusted me anyway, even though I've always been so cold to him…_

_"Are you alright? I can't believe that creep bit you!" And I trusted him back…_

_"A strange presence in my fight with Gaara? Oh, don't worry, it was nothing, really!" I should have known that there was something else… The way he always tried to get attention… The way he always acted like such a dobe…_

"What does this have to do with him forgetting?" Sasuke asked quietly.

"You're not going to believe this, but I think Naruto may be…"

"Yes?"

And then she said the last thing Sasuke expected.

"I think Naruto may be in heat."

"…"

"Well?"

"You just killed the unfolding drama."

The fifth Hokage sweatdropped. "Anyway," she said, "I'd like to ask you exactly how things went."

"Are you a yaoi fan? You're as bad as Jiraiya!"

A vein popped up on Tsunade's forehead. "YOU THINK THIS IS A JOKE? I NEED TO KNOW THIS TO SEE IF THERE MAY BE A SIMPLER EXPLANATION!"

"Okay, okay! First, I woke up in Naruto's room… Handcuffed to his bed. Then he came in wearing nothing but white boxers… Sadly, they weren't wet."

"What exactly did he say?" she asked, ignoring the last remark.

Sasuke thought for a second. "He asked me if I wanted to play with him. And he called me Sasuke-sama."

"And?"

So Sasuke described the entire thing, from beginning to end, making occasional remarks about how great everything felt. Whenever he did, of course, Tsunade glared at him. Not that the mighty Uchiha minded. He was too awesome to possibly fear the wrath of a Sannin with a bad temper. Okay, maybe not. But she wouldn't kill him mid-speech, so he had nothing to fear… Right?

Anyway…

Tsunade sighed. "I'm afraid I can't think of any possible causes other than the 'in heat' theory. But I can't understand why he would so willingly be uke… Unless…"

"The Kyuubi is female?"

"No, no, no! That's not it! But I have another theory," Tsunade explained. "Demons such as the bijuu have no real genders. Despite this, they are often either feminine or masculine. The Kyuubi no yoku was by no means feminine… However, sometimes demons switch around between the two. Sometimes, a demon that has been one or the other for a long time, then switched recently before it was sealed, can give the trait that it was before to its host. In other words, I believe the Kyuubi no yoku was a feminine kind before, and therefore gave Naruto some feminine traits. I don't know why there was a sudden personality switch, but that's all I have to go on right now. I only know this because I read about it before; these sorts of things have happened to other Jinchuuriki."

"So you're telling me," Sasuke said slowly, "that he may have MORE feminine traits?"

"Perhaps," Tsunade sighed. "He's thirteen; too young to tell. I'd like it if you could bring Naruto here tomorrow so I can run some tests."

"But why did he come to me?" Sasuke asked. "He could have gone to anyone else."

"You're the closest male friend he has, most likely. What I'd really like to know is where that vibrator came from!"

"Eh?"

The vibrator? He hadn't thought about it… Did Naruto buy it after handcuffing him, or had he had it before?

Ah, well, it didn't matter.

_So… It was nothing after all…_

Sasuke sighed.

_I thought we had something special…_

The next day, Sasuke knocked on the door of Naruto's house. As he waited, he noticed how small the place was. _Not even a second floor… It's about a little larger than a hotel room… _On his way out the day before, he remembered seeing nothing but a bedroom, a kitchen, and a bathroom.

Soon after he knocked, Naruto came to the door, wearing his usual orange clothes. "What is it?" he asked, uncomfortable around the Uchiha.

"Tsunade wanted to see you."

The entire walk there, Naruto was silent as a mime, and made sure to stay at least a meter away from Sasuke. Even when the Uchiha walked through the door of the building, Naruto waited until after he was sure there were other people walking through the hall before going through. _He isn't comfortable being alone with me, _Sasuke noticed sadly.

When they finally reached the office, Naruto slipped in, still quiet. "What do you want to speak with me about?"

"Yesterday's… Event," Tsunade replied. "I believe I have an explanation for it."

With that, she explained her theory. "And I'd like to do some tests."

"But I'm fine now!" Naruto insisted, a worried look on his face.

"It's nothing major, I promise. Just a blood test," Tsunade comforted him. "Please wait in the hall."

"H-hai…"

As soon as the door shut, Sasuke immediately asked, "Okay, what's up with him? He isn't even comfortable being in the same room with me unless someone else is there!"

"He's jumpy, and he's probably going to be that way for awhile," Tsunade sighed. "Several rape victims show similar symptoms."

"But I didn't rape him, at least not on purpose! I thought he was willing!"

"I know, I know!" Tsunade sighed. "But regardless of why, he's going to be uncomfortable around you for quite awhile. That, I can assure you."

"But… What if it does happen again?"

"I expect you to be responsible and not let it happen again! No matter what Naruto does, no matter how willing to please you he seems, your dick will not, under any circumstances, go near his rectum, or so help me I will perform PENECTOMY on you! You hear me?"

Sasuke backed away. "Yes, I hear you…"

**A/N I feel so cheesy using the "I thought we had something special" line. XP But I couldn't think of anything better. Anyway… Will Sasuke resist Naruto? Or will Tsunade perform penectomy on him? Note: Penectomy, the complete removal of the penis, is often confused with castration, which is the loss of function of the testicles, surgical or otherwise.**


	2. Ramen and Confessions

**Pinch Me, I'm Dreaming**

_In which Sasuke wakes up in the bed of a blonde dobe who will stop at nothing to have said Uchiha pounding inside of him. SasuNaru lemon, yaoi. Don't like, don't read._

**A/N And we're back! I know what you're thinking! "But Klei, you just posted the beginning about an hour or so ago!" Yeah, well, I wrote a lot of this in advance! So... Here ya' go! Ready for more lemony stuff?**

**Naruto: I wanna be seme! T-T**

**Too bad.**

It was a long day for everyone's favorite Uchiha, unless of course you like Itachi better. He was busy in bed with Kisame.

Naruto was going back into a heat… He wasn't quite there again, but Sasuke could tell by the way the blonde was instinctively rubbing against him whenever nobody else was looking.

And every few minutes, Sasuke heard Naruto mumbling things such as, "Shit, think of Lee naked… Gah, it isn't working…"

And after about an hour, Naruto gave in to his own desires, much to Sasuke's displeasure.

Why DISpleasure? Well, the rest of the day, Sasuke was mentally screaming, _I BEG OF YOU, KAMI-SAMA! MAKE HIM STOP BEFORE I FUCK HIM RIGHT HERE IN THE STREET!_

It was not a pleasant morning for Sasuke.

"Sasuke, why don't we go to your hou-"

"No."

"Or maybe my-"

"No."

"But-"

Sasuke pulled him aside and hissed, "No! I will NOT lose my dick out of lack of self-control! Stop. Tempting. Me."

Naruto made a cute pout. "But it'd be fun… Don't you wanna do it? I'll even strip for you…"

As they continued walking, Sasuke was beginning to worry. _Calm down, Sasuke… Just stay in public places… You know the moment you're alone you'll be tempted to…_

A random woman smacked him. "There are children here!" she growled. "Save your fantasies for when you're alone!"

"What?" _Did I say that out loud? _Looking down, Sasuke realized what she was talking about. _Oh, shit!_

"Mommy, why does that man have a funny lump in his pants?"

"No reason, sweetie, keep walking and stay away from him!"

Sasuke sweatdropped. _If I do this quick and in my clothes, maybe I can make it seem like we didn't do it when he regains his common sense… Oh, this isn't fair, he wears baggy pants and isn't very big, so nobody notices if HE'S horny, _the Uchiha thought, glancing at Naruto's groin.

Annoyed, Sasuke whispered to the dobe, "Alright, but just a quickie in the alley, okay?"

Naruto giggled, victorious as Sasuke pulled them into the upcoming alley and went all the way around to a place where there was nobody who would see them. "You're going to have to stay quiet, okay?"

The Jinchuuriki nodded, before turning around and pulling his pants down. After unzipping his own, Sasuke slowly inserted himself into the blonde.

"Ah… Hah… Harder…" Naruto pleaded, keeping his voice down as much as possible.

_I'll have to cum outside him so he doesn't realize we did this…_

After a few minutes (by then Naruto was standing with his side towards Sasuke and his leg raised onto the Uchiha's shoulder) the blonde came, and the Uchiha quickly pulled himself out as he did, as well. Quickly, he pulled both of their pants up and yanked them back out of the alley before Naruto finally stopped panting and asked, "What happened? My butt hurts…"

"You tripped, fell on it, and bumped your head, remember? Then you were dizzy for a few minutes. We're going to Ichiraku's."

"Eh? Alright!"

Sasuke sighed with relief. _He is so gullible… And for that I'm glad. And he isn't as nervous around me as he was this morning… Tsunade probably spoke to him about it. I just hope he doesn't get horny again! If he does, I don't know what I'll do…_

Naruto happily sat down and slurped up his ramen. "Doomo arrigato, Sasu-kun!"

Ayame turned around and looked at him. "Since when do you call Sasuke-san that?"

The blonde froze, realizing what he had just said. "Ah, I lost a bet… I think Tsunade-baa-chan is rubbing off on me."

"That stinks," Ayame mused, turning back to what she was doing.

Sasuke mentally laughed like a mad scientist. Naruto, the NORMAL Naruto, just called him Sasu-kun! KUN! _NARUTO IS ALL MINE NOW! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MINE! MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINE!_

"Sasu-kun, can I have another bowl?"

"Sure, it's your money."

"WHAA? I thought you were treating me!"

"The first bowl, yes. The second bowl, no."

"Aww, come on, teme! Pwease?" Naruto pleaded with big, cute, shiny puppy-dog eyes.

_This isn't like him at all… I know Tsunade said he would get some feminine traits, but that's not feminine, that's just baby-ish! Nonetheless, he's so cute… And sad looking… No, I will not give in! I'M AN UCHIHA!_

Despite being an Uchiha, the mighty Sasuke finally gave up when a single shiny tear fell from one of the dobe's eyes. "Only one more bowl, got it?"

"Hai!"

Ayame giggled.

"Oi, Ayame-san," Sasuke inquired, "where's Ichiraku-san at?"

"Oh, Otou-san? He's decided to try and find a date… Spring does some weird things to you, doesn't it?"

Sasuke watched as Naruto cried anime tears, thinking about the 'weird things' spring had been doing to _him_. With a smirk, the Uchiha mused, "You have no idea…"

* * *

Ah, it was a lovely morning in Konoha… The sun was shining, the birds were tweeting, and Naruto was nowhere to be found! Sasuke yawned, before finally getting out of bed. Oh, wait, never mind…

"GAH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?" Sasuke snapped, seeing everyone's favorite Kyuubi-vessel snuggling up against him.

"Wa… Sasu-kun…" Naruto mumbled, before slowly opening his eyes. "Eh?" He shot up, immediately looking around. "WHAT AM I DOING IN YOUR BED?"

"That's what I just asked!"

Naruto sweatdropped. "I can't remember… Oh, hang on… It's coming…"

Sasuke forced himself not to interpret the last statement the wrong way.

"Oh yeah! Now I remember…" A grim look appeared on the dobe's face.

_Naruto woke up, groggy but ready to train. He opened the door to his apartment, about to leave, when a man blocked his way._

_"What is it?" Naruto asked._

_"Your rent has been raised."_

_The Kyuubi vessel stared. "But… But I can't possibly… I can barely pay the rent, as it is…"_

_"Then I suggest you pack up and find somewhere cheaper, demon-brat."_

"And then," Naruto continued to speak, "I didn't know where to go. That was the only place I could afford to stay in before. I believe Tsunade-baa-chan told you why… Anyway, that was yesterday, and I kept going through everything as usual. But in the end, I still didn't know what to do... And if someone like me slept on the streets, I don't know what would happen. So I went to your house and knocked, but nobody answered, and the door was unlocked, so…"

Sasuke sighed, vowing to give the guy who basically kicked Naruto out of his apartment a big hug for forcing said blonde to sleep with him. "Why me? Why not Kakashi-sensei or someone else?"

"Anyone older would have told Tsunade-baa-chan, and I don't know what that guy would do to me then. Plus, you're the only one my age who would understand why most older people don't really like me much."

"So why didn't you tell me yesterday?"

Naruto turned red. "I was afraid you wouldn't let me stay… And that I would just be a nuisance."

"Baka," Sasuke said with a slight smile. "You can trust me, I promise."

"Doomo arrigato, Sasuke!" Naruto thanked him with a hug.

_Thank you, cruel man who raised Naruto's rent! THANK YOU!_

"Now, there's the matter of you repaying the favor," Sasuke mused. _I have to be careful… Make sure he comes up with it on his own… Otherwise, he may tell Tsunade. _He mentally gulped.

"Eh? Umm… I don't have any money, though; that man took it all from me before I left… And it wasn't much."

"Whatever shall you do?" Sasuke asked in a 'this is easy as pie' kind of way.

"Well…" Naruto turned bright red. "I have my body…"

"What about your body, Naruto?" the Uchiha inquired with an evil glint in his eyes.

"Well… You liked it when we… Umm… Did it the day before yesterday… So…"

"Done," Sasuke responded with a victorious grin. "You can start paying now."

"What?"

Before he could say anything, Sasuke was on top of him.

"B-but it's so early, and we have training to do!"

Sasuke sighed once again, defeated by this rare show of logic. "Alright, but tonight for sure… Although you'll probably be in heat again by then, anyway."

"E-EH?"

"Come on, let's get breakfast."

At the table, Naruto contemplated the deal he had just made, still wondering whether or not it was one of his brighter ideas. _What have I gotten myself into now?_

Sasuke hummed a tune to himself as he cooked the eggs. _Life is good now… Naruto will probably admit how much he loves me eventually, and until then I get all the sex I want… And this time he's REALLY willing!_

And that was when Naruto let out a cry of shock.

**A/N Woohoo! Another chapter completed! What is Naruto so upset about? You shall see shortly! And yeah, I know it was short. Deal with it. I'm probably going to release the next chapter within the next ten minutes, anyway. Either that, or I'll forget whilst watching TV and release it tommorow.**


	3. Michi

**Pinch Me, I'm Dreaming**

_In which Sasuke wakes up in the bed of a blonde dobe who will stop at nothing to have said Uchiha pounding inside of him. SasuNaru lemon, yaoi. Don't like, don't read._

"M-my tummy!" Naruto cried. "Why am I so… Fat? Surely I couldn't have gained that much weight… I don't remember eating anything particularly bad, and I exercise all the time! Wah, I'm getting lazier, I knew it! I'll have to train twice as hard now!"

"Okay, I get it!" Sasuke nearly screamed. Finally, Naruto stopped freaking out. "Let me see." Checking quickly, he sweatdropped. "Oh, it's not that bad. If you stop eating so much ramen you should be alright," he insisted. It was true; the blonde was definitely not fat, by any stretch of the imagination. No abs or anything, but not fat. And his sweater would cover that right up, if he had been. There was no problem… Right?

* * *

It had been only several hours since Naruto cried out about how he was getting fat. Even so, Sasuke noticed by the end of the day that the blonde's tummy had swollen up a tad bit more. Nobody noticed because of the Kyuubi-vessel's clothes, but when the two took a shower together (Sasuke insisted that it was just to save water, but Naruto knew very well that it wasn't, what with the Uchiha constantly glancing in the direction of his groin) the dobe had pointed it out. Deciding that there was no way it was natural (however dobe-ish he was, Naruto exercised enough to lose most of that ramen-weight) they went to Tsunade.

"Weight gain?" Tsunade repeated. "Let me see."

Naruto lifted his shirt, revealing the damage.

"How long did it take for this to happen?"

"Only a day," Sasuke replied. "Yesterday he was alri- Uh, not that I would know, of course! I swear, I did NOTHING yesterday!"

Naruto blushed, suddenly understanding what happened the day before. "You told me I tripped and fell, you bastard!"

Tsunade gave him a 'you're lucky Naruto isn't suffering mentally from this or you know what I would do' look. "Alright, let me do some tests… You two are lucky I don't have anyone else to look at!"

"Hai! Doomo arrigato, Tsunade-baa-chan!" Naruto yipped happily.

"Alright, wait outside, I need to speak with Sasuke again… I'll go with you to the hospital in a moment."

Naruto nodded and left, leaving Sasuke alone. Said Uchiha backed up and away from Tsunade. "Ah-listen, I swear, he was too tempting, you wouldn't be able to stand it if you were me… Please, I've never begged for anything before, but PLEASE leave my dick alone!"

Tsunade stood up angrily. "And why should I?"

Sasuke got to his knees. "PLEASE! I'm BEGGING YOU!"

At this, the fifth burst out laughing. "Dear Kami-sama, that was hilarious! You should have seen the look on your face!"

The younger Uchiha sibling froze. "N-nani?"

"I was going to forget about that, but then you brought it up, and… Well, I couldn't help but feel the urge to terrify you. Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about."

Angry and humiliated, Sasuke stood back up. "What is it?"

"I think I know why Naruto is having these problems."

"More insane theories?"

Tsunade coughed. "I think… Well, remember when I told you that Naruto may have more feminine traits?"

"Yes…"

"Well, I can only assume that since this is his first time experiencing… Well, 'trouble' during the spring… He only recently reached puberty… And I believe that Naruto may, thanks to you ejaculating inside him, become pregnant."

At this, Sasuke anime-fell. "You just killed the drama. Again."

After the tests confirmed her theory, Naruto screeched (what did you expect?) "WHAT?"

"You're going to have Sasuke's child."

"B-but I c-can't take care of a b-baby! I'm only 13! I'm a GUY!"

"Well, you could always abort…" Tsunade sighed. "But you'd better do it soon, because that baby will be completely developed and born after six weeks. And I have a strict policy not to abort a child once it can feel pain... That means about four days for you two."

"WHAT? Why only six weeks?" Sasuke asked, practically hyperventilating. "I thought it usually took several months!"

"Not with a Jinchuuriki's child," Tsunade replied with another sigh. "They develop faster. I did some research while the testing was done on other Jinchuuriki that have had this kind of problem before."

"How will it… You know…" Naruto gulped. "Come out?"

"I'd do a C-section, but because you aren't female, I'm not sure what the child is encased in… Most likely it's some sort of makeshift womb made by the Kyuubi, meaning it could possibly cause damage to whoever touches it. You might have to henge into a female and do it that way."

"Woah, woah, woah! You said something about an abortion, right?" Sasuke insisted. "Naruto-no, WE can't raise a child! We're teenagers! And there is no way we're sending it off to an orphanage! Those places would torture anything that has to do with Naruto!"

"Hai," Naruto agreed sadly. "As much as I don't want to take an innocent life, there's absolutely no way we could take care of it properly. And Sasuke is right about the orphanage. I remember growing up there, and I don't want anyone else to go through being hated because of Kyuubi. I can assure you that anyone would rather be dead. Suicide was all I ever thought about in that place."

"Alright," Tsunade agreed. "I'll give you two days to think about it. If you're still sure about this, we'll set up an abortion, alright?" Glaring at Sasuke, she added, "No more copulation until we get this sorted out, okay?"

"H-hai!"

* * *

Naruto took a deep breath as he sat on the bed. Tsunade had told Kakashi (not giving him the reason why) that he would not be able to attend training for at least four more days. Sasuke wasn't excused, however, giving Naruto a bit of time to decide for himself what to do. Already, the day after he had found out he was pregnant, his tummy was swollen to twice the size. He had thrown up a few times, too. "Stupid Kyuubi…" he mumbled. "A baby… I can't take care of a baby… What, with Akatsuki on my trail, and Sasuke-kun's reputation to worry about… But to kill it? Ahrg! What do I do?" Never once had he thought that he might be making this decision. Never in his life had he thought much about abortion. He was pro-choice, yes, but that didn't make his decision much easier. _What's in the best interest of the child? If I were a baby, would I want to go through that? Darn it, what should I do?_

A child. A human child. Well, human plus whatever the Kyuubi put into it… _No, not an it. Him or a her… No, no, no, think Naruto! It's a clump of cells! As long as I… Get rid of it before too long, everything is fine… Right? RIGHT? Killing a clump of cells is nothing, cells die all the time… Uhg. This is definitely going to be one of the most difficult decisions I will ever make…_

"Naruto! I'm home," Sasuke called, running up the stairs. "Ano… What are we going to do with you-know-what?"

The blonde sighed. "I'm not sure what to do. I keep telling myself it's just a bunch of cells… But I feel like I'm planning a murder."

"Well, we ARE shinobi, and we HAVE killed before," Sasuke joked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yes, but that was always because they tried killing _us_. But to kill a baby, even one that isn't even a baby yet…"

Sasuke sat down on the bed next to Naruto. "Listen, Naruto. Whatever you choose to do, you do. It's your body. I'm just thinking of your best interests. But no matter what you do, I'll help you through it. It's my kid too, after all. Not only that, but…" The Uchiha leaned in and kissed his forehead. "You're special to me. Even if it wasn't my kid too, I'd help you through it. Alright? We'll get through this together."

Naruto smiled. "Alright."

* * *

This was the big day. The decision to end all decisions.

"Tsunade-baa-chan, we've decided what we're going to do," Naruto said.

"Alright, what?" Tsunade asked, standing up.

Sasuke answered. "It's too dangerous for the two of us to have a child… Between Itachi and the rest of the Akatsuki, it would most likely be killed anyway. At least now it will be before it can think and feel."

Tsunade nodded. "I'm glad you two came to a conclusion." Walking over to Naruto, she added, "Don't worry, there shouldn't be any complications… I've done a little reading, and we should be able to carry this out safely, alright?"

That was when someone burst through the door. "Tsunade-sama! It's Aka- Oi, Naruto, what happened to you? You're… Well… Bigger."

"Genma," Tsunade hissed, "what is it?"

Genma immediately replied, "Akatsuki! Kisame and Itachi are in the village, looking for our little blonde friend here! And, uh, Naruto, you really ought to work out a tad bit more…"

"This isn't my fault, I swear!" Naruto insisted.

"We'll talk later. Naruto," Tsunade addressed. "You and Sasuke should go hide in the Hokage monuments. You can't fight like with a child; the fact that it's the child of a Jinchuuriki makes it a borderline parasite; it eats away at your energy and would render you nothing but a nuisance."

"Eh? But Itachi-" Sasuke began.

"Baka!" Tsunade insisted. "I know it's hard, but you need to forget about the dead and protect the living! Go!"

Sasuke paused, then nodded. "Hai. Come on, Naruto!"

"Coming!"

When they got there, it turned out all the children in the village were there, as well. Iruka dashed up to them. "You two keep everyone here, alright? I have to go out there and help!" Looking at Naruto, he said, "Be careful… Eh? Naruto, your stomach-"

"We'll tell you later," Naruto replied, blushing slightly.

"Alright. Good luck with them!" Iruka sighed. "Be careful, you two."

"Hai."

As soon as he left, Konohamaru walked over to them. "Naruto-nii-chan, why are you fat?"

"Eh… You don't want to know."

* * *

In the end, the two Akatsuki members were driven away, but there was bad news.

"Naruto, Sasuke… It turns out that during the fight, all our surgical equipment was destroyed. They tried destroying the hospital in order to prevent us from healing any of our shinobi, and it'll take over six weeks to have everything replaced."

"And?" Sasuke insisted. "What does that mean?"

"It means we can't safely carry out an abortion. I'm sorry, but you two are going to have to raise the child," Tsunade replied sadly.

"E-eh?"

"I'm sorry."

Feeling lightheaded, the blonde asked, "I'm going to have to… Raise… A child? A kid? A human being? What if it's a girl? I don't know anything about girls! Oh… What do we do?"

"Well," Tsunade replied, "there's actually only a twenty five percent chance it'll be a girl." She took out a piece of paper and wrote on it. "You and Sasuke are both male and have both X and Y chromosomes. Now, normally in reproduction there would be a male and a female, the female having nothing but X chromosomes."

X Y

X xx xy

X xx xy

"The XY represents a boy, and the XX represents a girl. So normally, there would be a fifty-fifty chance. However, as males, you both have XY chromosomes…" She drew another chart right beside it.

X Y

X xx xy

Y xy yy

"Because of this, there's a twenty five percent chance of a girl, a fifty percent chance of a boy, and a twenty five percent chance that the baby dies."

Sasuke nodded, understanding, while Naruto sat there stupefied. "Chromowhat?"

The Hokage sweatdropped. "There. Is. A. Low. Chance. It. Will. Be. A. Girl. I'm speaking in plain Japanese, baka!"

"Umm… Alright…"

The Uchiha cut in. "Alright… So… Now what do we do? Everyone in the village will find out! What about Naruto's reputation? People will think he's some sort of man-slut!"

"Eh? I thought you'd be more worried about YOUR reputation," Naruto said, confused. "You're the Uchiha."

"Which is why my reputation can't possibly be damaged," Sasuke replied. "I'm an Uchiha, so unless I run around nude screaming 'I like pie,' my reputation is secure."

Tsunade sighed. "Alright, you two probably need a bit of time alone… I'll give you both the rest of Naruto's pregnancy off to prepare… You may want to start living together, too."

Sasuke coughed. "We already do, actually…"

She raised an eyebrow, but nonetheless responded, "Alright, then. Can I speak with Naruto? Alone? Sasuke, you wait outside."

With a shrug, Sasuke left the room.

**Sasuke**

_What do I do, what do I do, what do WE do? A baby, an innocent child, what will happen? I can't raise a kid, I'm a teenager! What happens if I have some… I dunno, a HORMONE attack, and KILL it? GAH! _Pacing back and forth in front of the door and gathering a few stares from people walking through the hall, the Uchiha continued to worry. _What about missions? How will we earn the money we need to pay for food? Heck, it's a good thing I'm an Uchiha and have tax exemption… Otherwise we'd be even farther up the creek… But what about delivery? What if there are complications? If most of her surgical equipment is destroyed, there's no hope for a C-section… Crap, this is hopeless!_

**Naruto**

"So… What do you want to speak to me about?"

"The child… I understand that it will be extremely difficult for both you and Sasuke… And I don't plan to let you two go through this alone."

"Eh?"

"Listen, Naruto, I'm going to help you. If there's anything you need, anything at all, you come to me. All medical procedures you're going to need to go through, I'll do. No cost. Got it? I'll help you get all the supplies you need. As for missions, I'll take care of the child when both you and Sasuke are away at the same time."

"But why? It's not your fault we're in this mess…"

Tsunade smiled. "Yeah, well, it's not your fault either. Sasuke's, maybe, but not yours. And… You remind me of my little brother," she sighed. "Plus, as we both know, if it weren't for you, Orochimaru would have killed me by now. So I owe ya', too. Anyway, you might wanna run along to Sasuke now. Something tells me he's anxious about the whole thing."

"Okay… And, Tsunade-baa-chan?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

**Normal**

"So Tsunade-sama's going to help us out with this?" Sasuke inquired on their way home.

"Hai."

Sasuke took a deep breath. "This whole thing is sort of hard to believe… I mean, people are going to find out… Even if you wear even baggier clothes than usual… You really can't hide the weight gain."

Naruto groaned. "Why me? I'm going to be fat, fat, fat!"

Sasuke nodded slowly, not really listening. "Naruto?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you… You know… Choose me? I know you were… Well, in heat and all… But… You aren't angry… You know… That we're… Sort of together now, are you?"

Naruto looked at the ground. "Hang on, let me get something."

As soon as they entered the building, the blonde walked up the stairs. The Uchiha waited, and soon enough, Naruto came back down with… A book.

"My diary," he said with a blush. "I brought it with me from my apartment. You can… Look through it if you want…"

Taking the diary, Sasuke flipped it open to a random page.

_Hello again, diary,_

_Sasuke-teme beat me in a fight… Again. Crap, if this keeps up, I'll never be Hokage! Even so, he's… Well… I can tell he's not as cold as he acts. Maybe it's the feminine side of me talking, but he really is a nice guy sometimes. I couldn't stand it if he left or died or something. He's an ego-tistic bastard, but he's my best friend at the same time. I'd write more, but I have to go on a mission soon… D-rank, of course._

With interest, the Uchiha continued looking through the book, turning forward a couple of pages.

_Me again, diary,_

_Curse that Uchiha, I can't believe this… Every day I feel more and more drawn to him… Leaving his side makes me feel unsafe. I don't know why the heck that's so; I mean, I can take care of myself, right? Although… There have been a couple of times where he's saved my life, though I've saved his as well. I can safely say that neither of us would still be alive right now without the other. It stinks, knowing that I would be dead right now without him. At the same time, it feels strangely satisfying, knowing I'm in his debt, 'cause he's saved my butt a few more times than I saved his…_

_I don't like it. I feel so vulnerable… And even though I don't like it, well, I DO like it. Without Sasuke, it's like I'm incomplete. Unfulfilled. All my feelings towards Sakura have slowly been transitioning over to Sasuke… But I'm not gay, I swear. Bi, maybe, but not gay! And I most certainly don't LOVE Sasuke. He's very important to me, yes. But I don't love him!_

Flipping through even more pages, Sasuke couldn't help but want to laugh at how Naruto insisted that he wasn't gay to a book… As if he didn't believe his own words. Which he probably didn't, as they most certainly weren't true. But the entry he saw soon after was too interesting for him to waste time thinking of stuff like that.

_You guessed it, diary, it's me again,_

_Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke… Everything about him is perfect, from the way he walks to the way he speaks as if he owns the place, from is flawless hair to his natural skill, from the way his eyes can switch between cold and caring, to the way his rare smiles are so sweet…_

_I swear, he's become an obsession. As unhealthy as it is, I can't stop thinking about him for five seconds. If I do, I'll go mad. I need him. But I can't tell anyone… Sakura would hate me for the rest of my life. It hurts, knowing Sasuke will never know how much I love him, but it's better for both of us. He's got a bazillion girls; why would he care about a 'dobe,' as he calls me?_

_Wah… This isn't fair. Maybe it's selfish, but why can't I have a single thing that I want? I want to be Hokage, but I'm not part of some great shinobi clan. I want to be able to get through a day without worrying about angry mobs chasing me down… I want to be normal, not having to worry about the nine-tailed demon-fox somehow breaking free… And most of all, I want Sasuke… Kuso, why? Why can't I just be normal? Why can't I just be a regular, straight kid with no stupid demon sealed inside him? Why can't I have a normal, achievable goal?_

_I suppose fate hates me, just like everyone in the village who knows about the Kyuubi. Would all my friends avoid me, worried about their own safety if they knew?_

_Would Sasuke desert me?_

_If that happened… I would have to kill myself._

Sasuke closed the book and gave Naruto a hug. "Poor, sweet, innocent Naruto-chan… I won't desert you, dobe. Not ever."

"Really?"

"Well, on one condition."

"Eh?"

The Uchiha smirked. "You're the permanent uke."

"NANI? I don't get to be seme, even once?"

"Maybe once… Maybe. But otherwise, no. Besides, you're the pregnant one."

Naruto glared at him, but soon laughed. "Stupid Sasuke-teme. Whatever you say."

* * *

The next six weeks were definitely the worst six weeks of Sasuke's life. And not because of the baby itself, either.

He didn't blame the dobe (he read about the symptoms of pregnancy as soon as he found out an abortion wouldn't be possible), but that didn't make Naruto's constant mood swings and ramen-with-ketchup cravings any more bearable.

"Sasuke!" Naruto whined. "I cut my finger!"

"Eh? But you've had much worse wounds than-"

"WAH! YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ME ANYMORE!" he sobbed, running away.

"WAIT, NARUTO! I'LL GET A BAND-AID, I SWEAR!"

And then later…

"I'm so hungry…"

"What? But you just ate already…"

"I know, but… I'm still hungry. Do we have any ketchup?"

"Ketchup?"

"For ketchup-filled ramen. Oh, and there have to be sprinkles, whipped cream, and chocolate syrup!"

Sasuke sweatdropped. Of course, then Naruto started crying. "WAH! YOU THINK I'M FAT!"

"NO I DON'T, YOU'RE… Uh… VERY THIN AND HEALTHY-LOOKING!"

"LIES, ALL LIES!"

* * *

And so, the pair went shopping for baby supplies, Naruto using a genjutsu to keep people from seeing his tummy. Tsunade had supplied them with some extra cash so they wouldn't end up broke, telling them they could pay it back by doing extra missions later.

"Eh? What's a pair of teenagers doing here?" the shopkeeper asked them curiously.

"We have a friend who's having a child soon," Sasuke replied calmly. "Do to some complications with her pregnancy, she doesn't have the time to come to the store for supplies. Thus, she gave us the money and asked us to get them. We even have a list." He held up the list of things Tsunade had recommended.

"That's very sweet of you two," the shopkeeper replied with a bright and cheery smile.

"Thank you," Naruto replied happily, following Sasuke. "You're a great liar," he giggled.

"Hn," the Uchiha responded, placing a bundle of pacifiers in the basket he had picked up.

Naruto walked over to the toys; a dog with large, shiny brown eyes had caught his eye. "Kawaii!"

"Eh? Nani?"

"Isn't this dog the cutest?" Naruto asked with a smile.

Sasuke sighed. "Put it in the basket."

* * *

Alone, the two strolled silently along the deathly quiet paths, only about a day before the Jinchuuriki would have to go to the hospital; in a henge, of course. There was no way he was going through the village that fat.

Sasuke glanced around at all the empty houses. "I remember… I remember when this place was filled with people, both the Uchiha clan and whoever came to visit… It's so quiet now…After… That event, I've never actually spent too much time wandering around here…"

The blonde followed Sasuke's gaze. "It feels lonely. How could you possibly stay here? It's TOO quiet. So quiet that it's scary." Suddenly, he fell to the ground, clutching his abdomen.

"Eh? Naruto, what is it?"

"UWAH! Sasuke, it hurts… I think… Unn! The baby-GAH! I'm not a woman, WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?"

Taken by surprise, Sasuke immediately forced himself not to panic, and created a bunshin to go off and get Tsunade.

"Now, calm down Naruto, take deep breaths… I have a clone going to get Tsunade now, okay? Just… Calm down, alright? Umm, try turning into a female!"

Shakily, the blonde formed a hand seal. "O-orioke no jutsu!"

With a puff of smoke, he transformed, still clothed but female. In the distance, the Uchiha heard footsteps rushing towards him.

Quick as she could, Tsunade (who, in case you haven't figured out, was the source of the footsteps, the clone having disappeared after giving the news) lifted Naruto up. "Come on, let's get him to the hospital, quick!"

"You said we had one more-

"WE'LL TALK LATER!"

"Okay, okay!"

Quickly, they dashed to the hospital, rushing through the halls to the delivery room.

"Eh? Tsunade-baa-sama?" a nurse spoke up as they sped by, and ran after them.

"No time, emergency delivery!"

"Oh, I'll alert the staff!" the nurse replied, turning and running in the opposite direction.

Before long, Naruto was laying in a bed, already in agonizing pain.

Now that the delivery specialists were arriving, thanks to the nurse, Sasuke finally asked, "Why is this-"

"He's a Jinchuuriki. Due dates are tricky to predict. Six weeks is the average, but it can take longer. I didn't really think that it might take a shorter period of time…"

Sasuke sighed, just relieved that Naruto was going to-hopefully-be okay. "So… How long will this take?"

Tsunade began to whistle.

"How long?"

"Well… Some have been known to take hours…"

"HOURS? What do I do, what if Naruto is in pain, what if he hates me for this, what if he dies, what if-"

One of the delivery specialists turned around and spoke. "Oi, wanna know how you can help?"

"Hai!"

"Go boil some water; Kagome, the woman at the desk, will tell you where you can do that."

"On it!" Sasuke replied, dashing out of the room.

Tsunade breathed a sigh of relief. "Glad he's out of the way, at least for a little bit while we make sure everything is alright…"

The specialist smirked. "That trick works every time."

"Yeah…"

The room was silent for a moment, other than Naruto's groans in the background.

"We need to come up with a new trick, before all of the the new parents of Konoha finally understand that boiling water doesn't help anything get done."

"Oh, don't worry, it'll be a long time before that happens."

"True."

Naruto whimpered. The Hokage went running over. "You okay?"

"I'm fine," he whimpered, tears trickling from his eyes.

She sighed and smiled slightly. "Gakki."

* * *

"Well? Well? WELL? Let me in! I need to know if Naruto's okay!" Sasuke insisted.

"No!" the nurse insisted.

"But I haven't been able to see him for a day and a half!"

"Oh, just let him in," Tsunade said, opening the door.

"Hai..."

Dashing inside, Sasuke immediately went over to Naruto, who was wearing a white hospital gown (now transformed back into his old self) and holding something wrapped in blankets. "Sasuke!"

"Well? Are you okay? Is it a boy or a girl?"

"I'm fine, and he's a boy."

Tsunade strolled over, smiling slightly. "What are you two going to name him?"

"Eh?" Naruto blinked, not having thought of one. "Sasuke, what do you think?"

The Uchiha shook his head. "Don't look at me, I never thought this far!"

The fifth Hokage sweatdropped. "Didn't you two think about this at all?"

"We were going to think about it the day before… Neither of us anticipated that it-"

"HE!" Naruto interrupted.

"Neither of us anticipated that _he _would come early," Sasuke finished.

"You have all the supplies you'll need, right?"

"Yes, we have the supplies," Sasuke replied.

"Check them off this list."

Sasuke took the list and checked things off as he spoke. "Crib, check… Set of bottles, check… Pacifiers, check…"

"So, Naruto," Tsunade addressed while Sasuke continued looking at the list. "How do you plan on… You know, telling people this? You can't keep it a secret forever. Kakashi and Sakura are already suspicious because of all the training you missed, and Jiraiya… Well…"

"What about Jiraiya?" Naruto inquired.

Suddenly, someone burst through the door. "Naruto? I came as soon as the nurse Tsunade sent told me about this! Tell me it's not true! Tell me it's a sick joke!"

All three of them sweatdropped at Jiraiya as he saw the baby and fainted.

"You told him?" Naruto asked, stung by what seemed like betrayal.

"I'm sorry! He threatened to check every building in Konoha until he found you, and so I sent one of the nurses to get him during the birthing process…"

Naruto sighed. "Do you think he'll ever wake up?" he asked, glancing at the fainted Sannin.

"Eventually."

It was only a few minutes before the perverted Sannin finally got up. "I had the craziest dream… Naruto had a baby, and-" He paused, looking again.

"Don't faint again," was all Tsunade said.

* * *

"So you're telling me that not only do they have a baby, but they haven't even named it yet?" Jiraiya asked.

"Don't talk about us like we aren't in the same room, please," Sasuke said.

The old man took a deep breath. "So… Naruto being… _Pregnant… _Must mean that you two… You two…"

"For a pervert, you sure seem to have difficulty discussing these things," Naruto giggled. "Don't worry about the baby, he's too young to understand this."

"So you two… Had… Sex?"

"Yep," Sasuke replied.

"How?"

Sasuke replied, putting it as blunt as he possibly could. "He was naked. I was hard. My dick entered his ass. It's very simple."

Naruto blushed and glared at him.

"I know _that,_ but… Well… How did a b-b-_baby_ come from it?"

"I'll explain later," Tsunade sighed. "This child is going to have to go through a lot… What with Naruto being a Jinchuuriki, Sasuke being an Uchiha, and the both of you being male… Both of you have a lot of decisions to make about what you're going to do with him."

Naruto nodded. "So many winding paths." Then, it hit him. "Paths! Streets! Michi!"

"Michi?" Sasuke repeated. "Nice name."

"Alright, Michi it is!" Tsunade chirped, typing something into a nearby computer.

**A/N Okay, now it's time to get started on the next chapter! And I know, horrible way to come to a conclusion for a name, but in my head I kept referring to the kid as "Michi," and thus had to find a way to give it that name.**


	4. Author's Note

**Antivirus XP 2009**

Above you is the virus that has cause me many, many problems. I'm sorry, guys, but I'm not gonna be able to write anything at all for awhile because the computer was so bad that we had to completely reset it backto the factory version. I lost all of my Word documents; heck, I even lost Word! Microsoft Office is gone. So is Powerpoint and a ton of other hard work of mine. I lost three, not one, but THREE novels I was writing for publication. Now I'm gonna have to start all over at page one. I hope the creator of this virus is happy. I've lost _months _of work in one day because of this. I looked it up online and saw that Malware was supposed to get rid of it; well, surprise surprise, it didn't. I urge you all to watch out for this and not to download it. It's one of the worst things you could possibly do to yourself. Everything I've downloaded to this computer has vanished. Poof. Gone. So once again, if you made this virus (I read it was made by some Russian men or something) and you're reading this, I really do hope you're laughing. Sure, it may only be a computer. But you've erased so many things that I've worked on for so long. Go on and enjoy your laugh now. You may as well have shortened my lifespan, because all the time I spent on my writing has been a complete waste.


End file.
